What is Declarative Language?

Autism and PDA

For many Autistic and neurodivergent individuals, communication is shaped by far more than spoken words alone. Nervous system safety, processing demands, predictability, autonomy, emotional regulation, and relational trust can all influence how communication is experienced within everyday interactions.

Communication that feels highly directive, urgent, evaluative, or outcome-focused may increase stress, vigilance, overwhelm, or shutdown for some individuals, particularly those with a PDA profile. In contrast, communication that prioritises collaboration, transparency, autonomy, and relational safety may support more regulated and connected interaction.

One communication approach that has become increasingly recognised within neuroaffirmative and PDA-informed spaces is declarative language.

What Is Declarative Language?

Declarative language is a relational communication approach that involves sharing thoughts, observations, feelings, ideas, memories, and problem-solving processes aloud rather than relying primarily on commands, prompts, correction, or repeated questioning.

Speech and Language Pathologist Linda Murphy, whose work has significantly shaped contemporary declarative language frameworks, originally described declarative language as:

“stating out loud what one knows or thinks, in the form of a comment.”

Rather than focusing on obtaining compliance or “correct” responses, declarative language aims to support:

• shared understanding

• collaborative interaction

• processing

• autonomy

• social connection

• reflective thinking

• co-regulation

• felt safety

Declarative language often includes:

• thinking aloud

• observational comments

• reflective narration

• emotional language

• collaborative problem solving

• uncertainty tolerance

• transparent information sharing

Examples may include:

“I’m noticing the room is getting noisy.”
“I’m wondering what might help here.”
“I need a moment to think about this.”
“I remember that felt difficult yesterday.”
“I can see that was frustrating.”

At its core, declarative language is less about directing another person and more about sharing experience and information in a way that reduces unnecessary pressure within communication.

Declarative vs Imperative Language

Declarative language is often contrasted with imperative language.

Imperative Communication

Imperative communication tends to:

• direct behaviour

• require responses

• focus on compliance

• create urgency

• be outcome focused

• position one person as controlling the interaction.
  

Examples may include:

• “Put your shoes on.”

• “Look at me.”

• “What do you say?”

• “Hurry up.”

• “Why did you do that?”

Declarative Communication

Declarative communication instead aims to:

• reduce pressure

• preserve autonomy

• share information

• invite collaboration

• support reflection and problem solving.

For example:

Imperative:

“Put your coat on.”

Declarative:

“It’s cold outside today. I’m getting my coat ready.”

Declarative language shifts communication away from control-based interaction and towards relational understanding and collaboration.

Communication, PDA, and Nervous System Safety

For many PDA individuals, communication itself can sometimes become experienced as pressure.

Questions, reminders, persuasion, prompting, correction, urgency, or repeated demands may increase nervous system activation, particularly when communication feels controlling, unpredictable, or loaded with expectation.

Many PDA-informed frameworks conceptualise these perceived threat activated responses through a nervous system lens, where autonomy and felt safety play significant roles in how interactions are processed.

According to Polyvagal Theory, developed by Dr Stephen Porges, the nervous system continuously scans interactions for cues of:

• safety

• danger

• predictability

• control

• relational connection.

Tone of voice, pacing, urgency, emotional intensity, body language, and perceived pressure may all influence how communication is experienced neurobiologically.

Declarative language may support nervous system safety by:

• reducing communication pressure

• lowering urgency

• preserving autonomy

• increasing predictability

• supporting processing time

• fostering collaborative interaction

• reducing perceived hierarchy within communication.

One of the most important misunderstandings about declarative language is the idea that it is simply a collection of sentence starters or softer wording.

PDA & Declarative Communication

Communication is shaped not only by wording, but also by:

• emotional tone

• pacing

• relational safety

• underlying intention

• nervous system state

• authenticity within the interaction.

Many Autistic and PDA individuals describe being highly attuned to hidden expectations or communication that feels indirectly controlling, even when phrased softly.

For this reason, declarative language works best when grounded in:

• authenticity

• transparency

• collaboration

• attunement

• co-regulation

• respect for autonomy.

Shared understanding and relational attunement are central to PDA & declarative language.

Thinking Aloud and the Development of an “Inner Voice”

An important aspect of Linda Murphy’s work is the idea of modelling reflective thinking through “thinking aloud.”

This may involve narrating:

• problem solving

• emotional reflection

• planning

• noticing

• uncertainty

• flexible thinking.

For example:

“I’m trying to decide what feels manageable right now.”
“I noticed I started feeling overwhelmed when the room got loud.”
“Last time this happened, taking a break helped me.”

This type of reflective narration may support:

• emotional literacy

• self-awareness

• flexible thinking

• planning skills

• self-reflection

• internal problem solving.

Over time, this can help support the development of an internal reflective “inner voice.”

Declarative Language and Co-Regulation

Declarative language is also shaped by the wider relational interaction.

Communication that supports co-regulation often includes:

• slower pacing

• reduced urgency

• pauses for processing

• emotionally safe tone

• open body language

• authentic curiosity

• collaborative presence.

Silence can also be supportive - not every interaction requires an immediate response.

Within neuroaffirmative and PDA-informed approaches, declarative language is increasingly understood not simply as a communication technique, but as part of a broader relational and nervous-system-informed approach to interaction.

A Neuroaffirmative Perspective on Declarative Language

From a neuroaffirmative perspective, declarative language is not about changing Autistic communication styles into neuronormative communication.

Declarative language supports the creation of communication environments that:

• reduce unnecessary pressure

• support autonomy

• foster relational safety

• acknowledge processing differences

• support collaborative interaction

• prioritise connection over compliance.

Declarative language supports the recognition that:

• communication is relational

• safety shapes engagement

• autonomy matters

• processing differences are valid

• social understanding is mutual.

Declarative language is about creating safer, more respectful, and more collaborative communication experiences.

Learning More About Declarative Language

Much of the contemporary understanding of declarative language has been shaped by the work of Speech and Language Pathologist Linda Murphy, MS, CCC-SLP.

I first purchased Linda Murphy’s Declarative Language Handbook in late 2020, and it has remained one of the professional resources I have consistently recommended to parents, educators, therapists, and support professionals in the years since. Her work has played an important role in shaping broader conversations around autonomy-supportive communication, co-regulation, social information processing, and reducing pressure within interactions for Autistic and neurodivergent individuals.

You can explore her work here:
Linda Murphy Declarative Language Resources

References

• Murphy, L. (2010). The Critical Importance of Declarative Language Input for Children with ASD. Autism Spectrum Quarterly, Winter 2010.

• Murphy, L. (2018). What We Say and How We Say It Matters!. Autism Asperger’s Digest.

• Murphy, L. Declarative Language professional resources and handbook materials. Available at:
  Declarative Language Website

• Porges, S. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-Regulation. New York: Norton.

• Milton, D. (2012). “On the ontological status of autism: the ‘double empathy problem’.” Disability & Society, 27(6), 883–887.

• Murray, D., Lesser, M., & Lawson, W. (2005). “Attention, monotropism and the diagnostic criteria for autism.” Autism, 9(2), 139–156.